Suits

In the process of purging my closet and various dressers, I learned many things. One interesting lesson was that I no longer own a decent swim suit. The black tank suit I’ve worn for the past few years is faded and, to be blunt, ugly. And it doesn’t fit anymore, regardless. 

Why am I thinking about swim wear in January in the Northland? Funny thing: we are going to the Bahamas at the end of the month for about a week, courtesy of the company from which The Farm buys chemical and seed. I’m looking forward to sand and surf and sunshine and too much food and far too many tropical drinks with little umbrellas for garnish. I foresee sunburn and sugar comas.

*****

For Christmas, Chad bought me the RTIC 30 oz tumbler. He has a Yeti. I don’t see much of a difference, besides the obvious branding. I should have asked him to wait until RTIC came out with the sliding top lid, making it spill-proof, but I’m guessing I can pick that up later.

I like it. Coffee stays hot. Mmm, coffee.

*****

Muffin and I are now workout partners. Or at least until the gym decides to tell me how much all of this is costing me. The plan is to get and keep Muffy in shape during the off season. And this will be how I die. At the gym, whilst muscle bound gym-rats gawk and point as I drown in my own sweat.

Take a walk on your hands

Lists
The bills are paid. The house is (relatively) clean. The laundry is done. Random chores are complete. Phone calls returned. Questions answered. Supper is defrosting in the sink. I’ve blazed through my list and now - at the bottom of that list - the word “write” sits there waiting to be crossed off.

I’ve joined I don’t know how many writing groups, self-help email/motivational list-serves. None of that does any good. Instead of putting “write” at the bottom of my list, I just need to put it at the top. Maybe that will fix me.

Or is that too simple?

Sleep
For the past few nights I’ve been having trouble sleeping, and I’m not sure why. Usually, I can chalk up a fitful night to a brain that won’t shut off or external stressors that must be obsessed over at 3am. But this time my arms hurt. Or ache. Or something. And it is keeping me awake at night.

Is there such a thing as “Restless Arm Syndrome”? Like Restless Leg Syndrome, where your legs feel like they need to move and kind of ache in a really uncomfortable - not-in-the-muscle-more-like-in-the-bones - kind of way…but in your arms? I’ve tried sleeping in different positions. I’ve tried all kinds of different over the counter sleep medicines (with the exception of the Trazadone I still have from a previous round with insomnia/anxiety). I’ve even cut back on the caffeine, thinking that after all these years, I’ve finally developed a sensitivity to it.

No such luck.

Fall
This time of year is weird in The Northland. Cold one day and hot the next. Jeans and a sweatshirt complete with socks and real shoes, then shorts and a tank top with (maybe) flip-flops. Sometimes Cold and Hot in the same day.

It all just foreshadows Winter.

And I’m not into Winter. Not at all.

Until it happens to you

Mashable

The end of August/start of September means back to school, yes, but also doctor appointments and random yearly “stuff” that must be crossed off a list somewhere so as to maintain my family’s membership in the club of humanity. Apparently.

And now that I’m “of a certain age” I get to have additional appointments that require the squishing and squashing of body parts that should never be squished or squashed so severely. Ow.

In fact, I was so discombobulated after that appointment that I didn’t notice until I was getting undressed for bed much, much later in the day, that I’d forgotten to remove the little pasties the technician applies. I’m sure they serve a purpose - a medical purpose - and are not just something to point to and laugh.

Getting old is fun!

More weather observations

Today is hot. And sticky. This morning was 72 degrees at 7am with humidity hovering around 95%.

That kind of sticky weather requires all the insides of windows be wiped down or risk warping the wooden sashes. That kind of sticky weather also requires the full-time use of no less than two dehumidifiers or risk the health and life of the AC unit.

Heat and humidity do not bother me in the least. As long as I do not have to don panty-hose or wear makeup, I could not care less about hot and humid weather.

But.

And there is always a BUT.

This weekend, one of Chad’s many cousins is getting married, and that requires dress clothes (no panty-hose, however) and makeup and probably even clean hair. The wedding is an outdoor affair - and therefore it follows that the forecast calls for rain, thunderstorms, wind, and probably a plague of locusts or maybe just a tornado or two.

Lists on lists

Analysis paralysis

A cat is sitting on my “book of all things” so I will not access my to do list until he moves. This could take a while.

*****

The heck?

My “book of all things” is a black and white graph composition book. I saw a “Bullet Journal” tutorial and liked the concept. I’ve been using the system for about a year and a half. I find it very comforting to know everything is in one place. Things like recipes, crochet patterns, to do lists, passwords, shopping lists, scraps of writing or ideas for writing, doodles, meeting notes, events for every month, checklists for motivation, quotes I like, lists of books I should read - - anything and everything can be written/taped/attached/tucked into the pages and then easily referenced in an index set aside in the beginning of the book. I’ve even started color coding and tabbing the thing with sticky notes to make flipping through the pages easier.

I find having everything in once place is a bit disconcerting, too, however; after leaving my previous book on a counter overnight, a cat peed on it.

Yes, the cats are assholes.

And Yes, the Cleaning Of All The Things is a never ending activity in my house.

*****

I got nothing.

The oldest child came out to spend part of the day with the family on Sunday. We also had the lovely task of getting everything arranged for her student loan payments, starting in April. I don’t remember things being so damn complicated (multiple usernames, passwords, security questions, security pictures, and on and on and on, and for the love of anything holy yes it really is an authorized person on this end of the fucking website).

The day a bank starts using facial recognition software to authorize access to an account is the day I will back away slowly from the internet and begin my life off the grid.

Maybe. I like me some internets.

*****

(Random bits of detritus from recent days gone by:)

Sorta.

I have lists upon lists in my head of things I need to do including various projects that involve cleaning out closets full of clothing I’ve not worn since before my second child was born, planning a graduation celebration, paying bills, applying for various jobs in the area, and maybe running a vacuum cleaner around the baseboards. But it is raining or snowing or something uncomfortably cold outside, and that just makes me want to start a fire (by clicking the remote - heh) and spend the rest of the day cozied up in my chair working on something with yarn.

But I didn’t do any of that.

Instead, I made pork chops and rice in the slow cooker, and in another slow cooker is bread pudding with Dulce de Leche. (Winter still has a vice grip on my recipe book *and* the Northland, it would appear.)

*****

Crafty

I poked my head into the broom closet for whatever reason the other day and noticed a huge stash of plastic grocery bags stuffed into the back corner.

And thus a project was born.

I found directions for making Plarn (plastic yarn). File that under “Internet wormhole” because wow. Plarn construction involves a whole damn bunch of folding and cutting plastic grocery bags from Stuff-Mart. I have broken blisters on my fingers from cutting plastic bags into strips.

You gotta know that I take crochet a little too seriously when my hands bleed for the craft.

Once I have everything cut, then I loop the strips together to form a long rope and roll it up like yarn. It isn’t difficult, but it is tedious. And is taking far longer than I expected.

My plan is to make “beach bags” or **GASP** “grocery bags” that can be used over and over. The great thing about Plarn is that the beach/grocery bag can be thrown in the washer (with something like towels) and hung to dry. Recycle the recycling.

Anyway. That is my most recent crochet project.

*****

Playlist: It is a compilation kind of day

A Hundred Miles or More: A Collection (Alison Krauss and various artists)

Anchored in Love: A Tribute to June Carter Cash (various artists)

Simple

I finished the second of two ‘crib sized’ crochet baby blankets last night. I think they turned out ok.



I don’t remember the names of the stitches. I modified the finished sizes from some notes I scribbled on a random scrap of paper stuffed in an oversized envelope where I keep most of the patterns and descriptions of crochet projects. I’ve considered selling crochet blankets, hats, mittens, various baby things on Etsy or whatever, but I’m not good at “on demand” production and god forbid someone actually ordered things from me. I’d have no idea what to charge or how to go about it. So, I reserve such things for special gifts and projects that challenge me. Usually, I just go to the craft section of stores and buy yarn based on what I like, how the yarn feels in my hands, the colors, etc., and then wing it. Modern manufacturing practices, standard sizes, mass production, or consistency of any kind never apply.

Next on the crochet list of projects include boot cuffs and fingerless gloves. I made a crochet hat that I wear when I take the dog walking.



I like it and since I have no intention of selling the thing or even giving it away, I guess that is all that really matters.

~~~~~

Yesterday, I went with Chad to town so as to do some phone swapping. We spent most of the day in town and the better part of three hours at the AT&T store. Good thing I like the kid who manages our account. He is funny, smart, honest, sarcastic, self-depreciating, a golf fanatic, and also engaged to marry his long time girlfriend this summer. Never a dull moment.

I am now getting my “new to me” phone set up. I usually take Chad’s hand-me-downs. Funny how I always manage to forget what a hassle all the set up is. Passwords. Linking apps. Ringtones. Notifications. Alarm settings. Pairing with my Fitbit. And my vehicle. And on and on and on. Good grief. Electronics are demanding.

~~~~~

Today is cold, windy and snowing. I’m ok with the cold part. (Still January in the Northland, so meh.) And even the snowing part. (The fields could use some cover. A fresh coat of white can be lovely at a distance.) But the windy part? No thanks. Smoke and I stayed in this morning.

He isn’t happy with me and shows his disappointment by pacing, sitting by the front door, and sighing a lot.

He has passive-aggressive down to an art.

~~~~~

Playlist:

Sons of Anarchy: North Country - EP
This Life (Theme from “Sons of Anarchy”) - Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers
Slip Kid - Anvil & Franky Perez
John the Revelator - Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers
Forever Young - Audra Mae & The Forest Rangers
Girl from the North Country - Lions


Sons of Anarchy: Shelter - EP
Ruby Tuesday - Katey Sagal
Fortunate Son - Lyle Workman & The Forest Rangers
Someday Never Comes - Billy Valentine & The Forest Rangers
Burn This Town - Battleme
Gimme Shelter - Paul Brady & The Forest Rangers


Sons of Anarchy: The King is Gone - EP
No Milk Today - Joshua James & The Forest Rangers
Bird On A Wire - Katey Sagal & The Forest Rangers
Traveling’ Band - Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers
Miles Away (feat. Battleme & Slash) - The Forest Rangers
Hey Hey, My My - Battleme
This Life (Celtic Remix) - Curtis Stigers & The Emerald Forest Rangers

January

I’m sure I’ve said it before here, but January is a tough one for me. So many things I can do, even more I should do, but so few I want to do.

~~~~~

January, in the Northland, brings cold and grey, with the constant threat of snow. Or worse, snow and wind. The air smells cold, crackling cold, if that is possible, like sticking your head in the deep freeze on a hot July afternoon. Jarring. Relentless. No quarter offered or given. Standing outside, even when sheltered from the wind and dangerous wind chills, exposed skin starts to freeze in just a few minutes, causing the uncomfortable tingle-sting of beginning frostbite on the cheeks and fingertips.

Unless it is today. Today the sun is shining, the sky is the color of a fragile Robin’s egg, and the temperature is flirting with 40F. Today is the exception to January’s frozen-fisted tyrannical rule. The ever contrary Northland weather makes me feel sorry for the weather man.

But if you don’t like the weather today, hang around for it will change - as if in just a few hours you traveled to another continent - or to another planet.

~~~~~

Playlist:
A Hundred Miles Or More: A Compilation
(Alison Krauss)

You’re Just A Country Boy
Simple Love
Jacob’s Dream
Away Down The River
Sawing On The Strings
Down To The River To Pray
Baby Mine
Molly Ban
How’s The World Treating you
The Scarlet Tide
Whiskey Lullaby
You Will Be My Ain True Love
I Give You To His Heart
Get Me Through December
Missing You
Lay Down Beside Me

Be specific

On the side road that takes me to Interstate and just before the onramp, I drove past a parked pickup today - the kind with weld machines and tool boxes anchored to the pickup’s bed. This isn’t unusual, as people stop along the road for all kinds of reasons: to take/make phone calls or text messages, to check maps or look for paperwork, to sleep, to adjust/secure cargo.

The driver of this particular pickup was standing by the endgate and was facing the ditch, so when I drove up I could see him in profile. It was obvious just exactly what he was doing and it sure as hell wasn’t securing cargo. My sudden arrival startled him, and I’m guessing probably embarrassed him; he quickly zipped up and turned so I couldn’t see his face.

Since when is this ok - if it ever was - stopping on the side road to pee? Usually the culprits are men, but occasionally I’ve driven over the hill to see more of a woman than I care to, relieving herself in the open air, not 75 yards from the Interstate.

And really, if this were 100 miles from any kind of town or rest area, I probably wouldn’t think much of it, but 15 miles east or west on that 75-mile-an-hour Interstate and there are truck stops, gas stations, restaurants and rest stops a-plenty.

I think I’m going to get signs made - like the ones for posting “no hunting” areas - that say “Pee-free zone: take it to town” (or something similar).

Just…yuck.

~~~~~

The weather today requires a new word, but I’m not sure what. The temperature is 27F with 100% humidity. Cold. Damp. Foggy. Snow is threatening - I can smell it on the air. Conditions are perfect for frosting tree branches, evergreens, fences - anything really. Everything is grey, silver, white-washed - like going back to Kansas black and white after living in Oz technicolor.

There should be a word for this.

Froggy (Frosty + Foggy) is the best I can come up with, but it’s not really evocative of the white haze and wet cold, but I hope you get the idea. If there is a more descriptive word already in existence and I’m just too lazy to find it in a thesaurus, help a girl out.

~~~~~

Winter is weighing me down, more so this year than I can remember from years past. Everything seems to take more and more time and effort. Getting dressed. Going to town to run errands. Walking the dog. Cooking supper. Looking for work. Everything is heavy and dense making it difficult to think clearly and stay focused.

I can and I do all those things and more of course; my point is that it just takes more time and concerted effort.

~~~~~

Playlist:

“Anchored in Love: A Tribute to June Carter Cash” (various artists)
If I Were a Carpenter
Jackson
Wildwood Flower
Far Side Banks of Jordan
Keep on the Sunny Side
Wings of Angels
Ring of Fire
Road to Kaintuck
Big Yellow Peaches
Kneeling Drunkard’s Plea
Will the Circle be Unbroken
Song to John

Take a walk

Today the outside temperature hovered at that “just bearable” above zero degree and without much of a wind I had to take Smoke out for a walk for the first time this month. Winter is brutal.

So I layered on clothing, pulled on my boots, and hauled my out of shape self out the door for about half an hour this morning. Rewards for such insanity include coffee, more coffee, sausage-egg-and-hashbrown slow cooker recipe leftovers from last night for lunch today, and a piece of dark chocolate.

What.

~~~~~

Chad went to town today in search of various items including a few ingredients that I’m short on to make General Tsao’s Chicken. In the slow cooker, of course. I’ve never tried such an adventurous recipe, so I’m not holding much for expectations.

~~~~~

Between searching for new and interesting slow cooker recipes and new and interesting crochet patterns, my browser cache is the stuff of legend. If Big Brother is out there (and we all know he is) and watching me he will have a nice nap after sifting through such information.

I’m also searching - without success - for a new career path. Please have hope, dear reader, for I’m losing mine, that this new path does not include Walmart, bagging groceries, or telemarketing.

~~~~~

Playlist: still paused

Crock

I think I’m developing an unhealthy dependency on my new slow cooker. Is that even possible? I’m not going to deep dive into that black hole, but I’ve been considering it for the past 30 seconds, so therefore it is justified as a topic here.

I bought said slow cooker not because I need it - I have several crock pots and slow cookers - but because I wanted the fancy bells, whistles, timers and settings this one has. That and I had some Christmas money burning a hole in my pocket.

It came with a recipe book (included in the instruction manual) and so I tried a couple of the options. I believe the Slow Cooked Oatmeal will become a weekly standard - at least during the cold months (so All The Time). I also tried Lemon Chicken, which was OK except I don’t think I reduced the lemon juice correctly (or enough) because it was a little more tart than I expected. I salvaged the leftover chicken from that experiment and made Chicken Vegetable Soup, which was lovely.

Now I’m making Tuna Noodle Casserole in my slow cooker because apparently I’m about a half-step away from being a Church Lady. Except for the part where I don’t actually go to church and with my nose piercing, I’d probably be found wanting by the local Circle. Or Guild. Or whatever they are calling themselves these days.

No. I’m making Tuna Noodle Casserole in my slow cooker today because Chad is away for the weekend ice fishing. It has become something of an event for Mar and me to have tuna anytime he is gone for more than a day or so. Why? Because that is the only time we get to eat tuna. And we girls love us some tuna.

~~~~~

Ice fishing is a compulsion I do not understand. And not because I’ve not tried it. I grew up ice fishing. I also grew up skating on frozen ponds/lakes, snowmobiling, skiing, sledding…winter sports are one of very few options when you grow up in the Northland.

But now, at this stage of my life, given the option of going outside in sub-zero weather to sit on the ice and wait for a fish to wander by OR staying inside to sit in my favorite chair by the pseudo-fireplace and teach myself a new crochet stitch…well…I think you can deduce the rest.

~~~~~

I’m making a new crochet baby blanket in pink. I’m also going to make a crochet baby blanket in blue. My friend Rootie is patiently waiting for her first grand-baby to arrive and I want to be prepared.**

Of course I’ll offer to make whatever color her daughter-in-law wants, say green or purple or yellow, to go with the decor of the nursery or just random preferences.

**No need to concern oneself about preparation as I discovered an entire Rubbermaid Tub FULL TO THE TOP with various crochet baby blankets that I’ve made and squirreled away over the years. See what happens when I clean out closets? I also found several skeins of yarn that need to be used, so I have justification for making more blankets. The logic for crocheting more blankets makes sense in my head so I’m not going to say it out loud or offer the argument up for debate.

~~~~~

Playlist:
“Chill-out: Ambient” station