Cheat day

More Like Cheat Weekend:
The cousin managed to get married, despite the rain and wind and outdoor setting. Mud. Lots and lots of mud. And a very steep hill. And women in high heels (me, being one of them). And battered umbrellas. But the deed has been done, and I’m so very happy (that it is done).

Friday was the rehearsal dinner, and the weather was quite lovely for that, of course. But the meal was served buffet/picnic style, which means lots and lots of Things I No Longer Eat were taunting me. I stayed away from the chocolate cake frosted with buttercream and Heath candy bar crumbles and stood instead next to the deep fat fryer where perch and walleye fillets were being cooked to a tasty crisp.

Saturday, the diet officially flew out he window. Pulled pork with BBQ sauce. Potato salad. Baked beans. Wedding cake. Vodka Sours. I would have been fine, really, with what little I ate of The Bad For Me Stuff. The drinking part? Wow. I don’t remember the last time I drank that much vodka and remained coherent and conscious. And vertical.

And then we went to the lake on Sunday and Monday for Labor Day, and there was much too much food consumption going on.

All told, I gained back three pounds. Not bad, really. Chad gained back seven.

Gravity:
Did you know that Diamond Dallas Page of professional wrestling fame sells Yoga DVD’s? Did you know that I own several of them? Did you know that I’ve never cussed a blue streak while attempting yoga moves, except when I use those DVD’s? Insane, I know, and it is really a good thing no one is home to see me sweat and hear me curse - and fall down - while trying to be graceful. (Ha!)

Falling down is hugely humbling. I tell myself it is a good thing, get back up, and cuss and swear and sweat some more. Some mornings I wonder if there is a dial for gravity and someone has spun that thing to 11.

New Music:
I recently purchased Depression Cherry by Beach House and Talking Dreams by Echosmith. Not sure how I feel about either, yet, but they are on constant rotation during the day.

Misplaced anger

Club volleyball season is upon us and thus goes the weekends in the spring. Muffin has practice a couple of times during the week, and man-o-live, I really appreciate how much easier my life is now that she has a license to drive and a vehicle with which to do so. Of course, I now get to worry about her eating at Budget Burger before practice instead of going over to her sister’s house or her grandparents house for something to eat that does NOT come from a greasy spoon.

But the weekends. Oy. Driving hither and yon. Spending an entire Sunday watching volleyball match after volleyball match - from 7:30 am to whenever they finish tournament play (after what is probably hours and hours of pool play) - gets long. And exhausting - and I’m not the one playing.

For whatever reason the scheduling gods have graced our team with a weekend off this weekend. I plan to spend Sunday with my feet planted firmly on the kick-out footrest on my recliner.

*****

I finally had it with all the plastic containers clogging up my cupboards and random lids for said containers stuffed into various drawers and cabinets in my kitchen. Muffin and I went through them all, pitched the ones that were cracked or missing lids or were just random Cool Whip containers (Why? Why do I keep such things? AH AXE YE?), sorted all of the containers and lids purloined from my mother-in-law (and gave them all back to her). Then I ordered Pyrex storage containers complete with matching lids.

No. More. Random. Plastic.

 It felt awesome to do that - to purge and then to replace with something of value and function. I like finding containers for leftovers now. Unbelievable, I know.

Next is the spice cabinet. Maybe tomorrow or Friday.

Hey - I never claimed to be an overachiever. At least, not that I recall.

*****

The oldest child is going to walk the stage for college graduation in May. Granted, she officially finished her degree in December of ’14, but you gotta know that walking the stage is the only way to commemorate such an accomplishment. That and a party. So we sat down with some fancy-ish stationery and invited a few family members and some friends over to her house in town to celebrate.

My mom is ordering cake. I’ll throw some hors d’oeuvres together and call it a win.

I’m looking forward to it. Very little fuss. Even less muss. The best kind of party to throw.

Funny to think that she will have graduated twice before Muffin manages it once. Such is the sitch when siblings are spaced that far apart.

*****

This morning, I tried on a bunch of clothes in my closet. Specifically, dresses and skirts that have not seen the light of day for about six or seven years. Some fit. Some didn’t. Some really didn’t. In fact, I gave myself that claustrophobic my-god-I’m-going-to-have-to-rip-this-off-my-body panic feeling more than once, trying to pull a wow-that-is-way-too-tight-sheath dress back over my head.

I have more work to do. Not that one can tell I’ve done any work at all. So I walk. And I yoga. And I drink water (and occasionally sneak in a Diet Coke, because come on). And I grill instead of fry. Bake instead of … I dunno.

I’m not seeing or even feeling any improvement at all. Unless you consider my achy, tired, and crabby self an improvement over my previously uncomfortable, exhausted, and ornery self.

*****

Playlist: paused

Starting over. Again.

This morning I awoke to the smell of oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg and maple syrup, stewing quietly in my brand new slow cooker. Damned ground blizzard. Mar needs to have something decent to eat before she leaves for school, because a mother’s logic trumps all. While doing their best with resources available, I understand better than some how limited said resources are (being very familiar with the real estate between rocks and hard places), the school breakfast/lunch option is a luck of the draw most days.

So I got a hot breakfast today, too. And lunch. And probably breakfast and lunch tomorrow, now that I think of it. I’ll need to halve that recipe in future.

Speaking of ground blizzards, whatever we have collectively done to Mother Nature, we need to apologize profusely and start working really hard to win back her love (or at least her tolerance of our existence). Negative number temperatures combined with (also negative) double digit wind chills outlines a classic Hell Hath No Fury situation. I recommend groveling.

And jewelry.

*****
Yoga is a funny thing. And by funny, I mean terrible.

While I usually forgive my inability to practice each asana like the rubber-limbed instructor living in my iPad, I really must be in the running for The Most Inflexible Person on the Planet.

I’ve come to understand that my dog agrees. To voice his unhappiness at my rolling out my yoga mat this morning instead of lacing up my walking shoes, Smoke executed a flawless Downward Facing Dog** and flopped himself between me and the iPad Instructor. He then watched me struggle and huff through 45 minutes of a beginner’s series, and while I tend to anthropomorphize my animals, I think he looked away in embarrassment, as if to say:

“My GOD Woman! Straighten your legs!” and “Can’t you hold that plank pose for more than 10 seconds?” and “Sheesh.”

You get the idea.

**What a show off.

*****

I slammed my thumb in a drawer this morning. I didn’t crack the nail and it looks the same as the other thumb, so I can provide no evidence.

You’ll have to take my word for it: It hurts like a mo-fo.

Which is exactly what I yelped when it happened.

*****

Playlist: Set to repeat
The Eagles - random songs
Audioslave - random songs
Fever Ray’s “Fever Ray” Album
AWOLNATION’s “Megalithic Symphony” Album